


Homo-something

by welovewebseries (unacaritafeliz)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Humor, M/M, but like less angst than other stuff I write, idk what this is, nursey was supposed to appear but i decided to end it as a one shot, tw: (mild/referenced) homophobia, tw: language (not worse than the comic), tw: mentions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7993357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/welovewebseries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know what, it doesn't matter," Johnson continued. "It doesn't advance the plot. Besides, you look like you're in the middle of your big character development arc! Congrats, man! I mean, it's not relevant to the main story, some doubt it will ever even be canon, but it is a subplot many of the readers are quite invested in, which is why it appears in so many of our alternate universes and fan works..."</p><p>[After a fight with Nursey during EpiKegster 2k16, William J. Poindexter reaches some surprising conclusions about his feelings].</p><p>A/N: I was originally planning to make this multichapter but I felt it was better as a one shot drabble, as I couldn't work out the proper story arc. As such, Nursey is only mentioned, he doesn't appear. He deserves better and I'm sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homo-something

**Author's Note:**

> TW: betting on people before they're aware of their own sexualities. I hear from Tumblr that's a no-go, so I'm sorry!

Dex woke up on a hard surface, disorientated and confused. Bracing himself on his arms, he took in his surroundings and realised he had been curled up on the floor of the Engineering Library and suddenly the memories came flooding back to him; he had been kicked out of the attic following EpiKegster2k16 and, rather than sleeping on the floor of the Haus with the rest of the boys, he had stormed out to think. He must have ended up here.

Dex groggily pulled himself to his feet and straightened his t-shirt and jeans. He begun the long walk to the Haus, immediately regretting that his (slightly tipsy) past-self hadn't thought to grab a jacket as he was unceremoniously pushed out of his room. Wrapping his arms around himself, he quickened his pace; hurrying to get home and cleaned up, and to hopefully find someone to talk to about the mess of emotions in his mind right now.

Dex wondered who he could even talk to about something like this. Even with most of the boys back for Epikegster, he still didn't have many options; Shitty would go off on some 'morally superior' tangent, Chowder would probably cry, Tango would ask too many questions, Whiskey wouldn't even care and he definitely couldn't talk to Jack or Bitty or Ransom or Holster about something like this. And, God, he could not talk to Derek Malik Nurse about this; not only was Nursey the least helpful roommate and defense partner ever but this was 100% his fault and he was 100% going to be a prick about it.

"Hey hey, it's William J. Poindexter," called a voice, immediately snapping Dex out of his thoughts. Dex looked up, immediately locking eyes with Johnson, who threw an arm around his shoulders and ruffled his hair. "Does that J. actually stand for something, or is it another instance of missing names as a literary device, like our good friend Mr. Knight?"

Dex quickly ducked out from under Johnson's arm. He didn't particular like the former SMH goalie, mostly because he didn't understand the former SMH goalie at all. The team's insistence that no one actually understood Johnson did nothing to ease his discomfort.

"Actually," Dex started, "the J stands for..."

"You know what, it doesn't matter," Johnson continued. "It doesn't advance the plot. Besides, you look like you're in the middle of your big character development arc! Congrats, man! I mean, it's not relevant to the main story, some doubt it will ever even be canon, but it is a subplot many of the readers are quite invested in, which is why it appears in so many of our alternate universes and fan works..."

Dex frowned at him, opening his mouth to speak before shutting it again quickly. He couldn't even begin to understand what that was supposed to mean.

"Anyway, I'll leave you to it, man," Johnson said. "By the way, Lardo is all alone in the reading room right now. You know, just in case you were looking for someone to talk to."

Dex stared at Johnson, who winked at him, turned and walked off. The dude was so weird but he did have a point - Lardo would probably be the perfect person to talk to. She would listen to him but she also wouldn't take any of his shit, and her years as team manager had left her able to resolve even the silliest of d-men disputes (and Ransom and Holster did have a lot of silly d-men disputes). Dex couldn't believe he hadn't thought of Lardo before. If anyone knew how to solve this, it would be her.

Dex quickly finished walking to the Haus and headed straight to the hallway window that lead out to the Reading Room. Sure enough, Lardo was there alone, arms wrapped around her knees. She was staring pensively out at the Lax House across the road, seemingly lost in thought, and Dex felt bad about going to disturb her. Lardo probably had her own issues to deal with; Shitty had been pretty drunk the night before and it probably had taken its toll on her. He considered turning around and heading up to the attic, instead of worrying her with his problems.

"Are you going to come out, Poindexter?" Lardo asked, eyes never moving from the Lax House. "Or are you just going to stand there for the rest of your life?"

Exhaling, Dex stepped through the window frame and sank to the ground next to her, leaning his back against the wall and stretching his legs out in front of him. He didn't speak. He still wasn't sure it was a good idea to talk about this. Once the words left his mouth there was no way to take them back and he didn't really need this shaping anyone's opinion of him.

At least Lardo wasn't the type to gossip; it would only be her opinion that he ruined. But still, Lardo was the type of person he always wanted on his side.

"I saw you leave last night," Lardo said, softly. "I didn't see you get back."

"I needed to think," Dex replied. 

"About what?" Lardo asked.

Her voice was gentle rather than insistent, and Dex knew she was giving him an opening rather than a command to speak. If he told her to drop it then he knew that she would. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I think I might be homophobic," Dex whispered.

Lardo snorted. She actually snorted. He'd laid his deepest fear out in front of her and Larissa fucking Duan had snorted at him. Dex's eyes popped open.

"You are not homophobic," she said.

"You don't even know why I think I might be!" Dex countered, turning to look at her.

"Doesn't matter," Lardo replied. "I know you. Dex, a quarter of this school isn't cishet and you've never had a problem with it. Hell, over half of this team has had a boyfriend at some point and I know you have cared about and defended every single one of them. You may have forgotten your four week ban of 2k15, but I haven't; my hand still cramps just thinking about all the paperwork I had to fill out for you.

A small smile ghosted Dex's lips. He had momentarily forgotten about his four week ban, which he'd earned last year by starting a brawl with the Yale defense team when they'd started yelling biphobic slurs at Holster. After he was sent to the bench by the referee, and all but dragged there by Chowder and Nursey, Lardo had marched straight over to him and, instead of yelling him like he thought she would, she wrapped him up in a hug. Coaches Murray and Hall had told him off during half time, but they had smiled the entire time, like they couldn't be prouder. Even hockey god Jack Zimmermann had called him that night and told him that he'd made the right choice in prioritising a friendship over hockey. But none of that had compared to the conversation he'd had with Holster out on the reading room that night.

"But what if..." Dex started slowly, trying to reconcile his current thoughts with his past actions. "What if I'm okay with it in the abstract but I'm not okay with the idea of them... doing... things?"

"Maybe you just don't like physical intimacy?" asked Lardo. "Or you don't like sex? That's not exactly uncommon, Dex. There's nothing wrong with being sex-repulsed."

"I don't think that's it," Dex said. "I mean, I've never felt this weird about it when Chowder talks about anything. I mean I feel weird because it's _Chowder_ , but I definitely don't feel this angry or disgusted or..."

"Did something happen?" Lardo interrupted, narrowing her eyes at him.

"No," Dex said, blush suddenly rising to his cheeks. "I w-was just thinking about it in a general sense."

"Is this about Nursey?" Lardo asked. "About that boy he was with last night?"

"No!" Dex protested. He grimaced at how loud his voice was. He wouldn't have manage to convince Ransom and Holster with that claim, let alone Lardo.

Lardo silently raised an eyebrow at him.

"I mean, yeah," Dex sighed. "It's just... he keeps locking me out of the attic when he has friends over. And one time I walked in on him and his... boyfriend... m-making out or whatever and I just...? Like it was just so... Lardo, I couldn't even look at it. And then yesterday we got into a huge fight about it because I asked him to not to bang his boyfriend in our attic and he told me I was being 'unreasonably un-chill' about the whole thing and I just..."

Dex broke off with a groan, burying his face in his hands in frustration. He hated even thinking about this. His frustration was not placated by the snicker that erupted from the small girl next to him.

"Oh, Dex," said Lardo. "Oh, my sweet Ginger child. You're homo-something alright, but I don't think 'phobic' is it."

Dex looked up at her and blinked. She was making less sense than Johnson right now.

"Have you ever considered that you're jealous?" Lardo asked.

Dex blushed.

"Lardo, I know I'm just a 'sweet Ginger child' and that I'm kind of a nerd, but I'm also a college athlete," Dex said. "I'm not exactly undesirable. I get offers. I'm not just jealous that Nursey's getting action and I'm not."

"Right," said Lardo. "But have you ever considered that you're jealous that you're not the one "getting action" with Nursey."

He stared at her, his jaw dropped open slightly as he tried to properly process the words she'd said. He couldn't be jealous in the way she was suggesting. He wasn't gay, and he'd never felt anything for Nursey except for constant frustration and the occasional fondness that came from being partners who worked so well together on the ice.

"What the fuck, Lardo?" Dex snapped, getting to his feet. "Are you kidding me? You actually think I have... 'feelings' for Nursey?"

"I'm just saying it's an option," Lardo said, coolly, not moving from her spot. "It's an option that makes far more sense than whatever this 'homophobic' nonsense does."

"I do not have a feelings for Nursey," Dex declared, ears growing hotter by the second.

"Okay, if you say you don't then you don't," Lardo said, throwing her hands up in surrender. "I'm not going to tell you what to feel, Poindexter. Besides, it's probably better for me if you don't since I'm trying to bed Nursey anyway."

"You what?!" Dex yelled. Realising he was being too loud, he sat down and whispered, "I mean, what about Shitty?"

"Shits wouldn't mind," Lardo said, with a shrug. "I mean, like, I'm just curious. Nursey just seems like he'd be so good, you know? Like his hands are so big, and they're surprisingly soft for a hockey player's and..."

"Okay, stop!" Dex said, shoving her gently. He could feel his ears light up red. He did not want to hear about this.

"Wow, Poindexter," Lardo said, voice emotionless. "Sounds like you're still grossed out by this even though it's no longer gay."

Shit.

"So you're either sex-repulsed or you're into Nursey," she added.

Shit.

She was good.

"I have feelings for Nursey?" Dex said, slowly, questioning how the words would sound. They felt strangely calming. They felt like coming home.

Dex's eyes went wide. He wasn't straight. He had feelings for his partner, for his roommate, for the boy who had been getting on his nerves non-stop for over two years, the boy who always seemed to be everywhere he was, the boy who he had yelled at because...

Because Nursey wanted someone else

"Thank you for trusting me with this moment," Lardo said, casually, leaning back. Her calmness clashed with the raging panic in Dex's mind.

"Oh my god, Lardo! I'm gay! Or I'm bi?! Pan?! I have feelings for Nursey!" Dex whisper-yelled, fully aware that the Haus was full of all his friends and also Nursey. He buried his face in his hands. "What am I going to do?"

"Talk to him?" Lardo suggested.

"What?!" Dex said. "I can't just tell him that I like him! It's... It's too much. I mean, I just realised I'm not as straight as I originally thought and he's already got a boyfriend and if things went badly we'd mess up the entire team since Ransom and Holster aren't here to pick up our slack and..."

"Dex, chill," Lardo said, with a smirk.

He glared at her. That was not helping.

"Look, I'm not suggesting you confess or anything because your newborn LGBT ass is definitely not ready for that," Lardo said. "But you need to talk to him and apologise for being such a dick about everything. You're partners and you're roommates and, most importantly, you're friends. Don't ruin it just because you have some confusing feelings."

Dex sighed. Lardo was right. Lardo was always right.

"Fine, I'll go talk to him," Dex said. He stood up, awkwardly stretching his limbs. "And, uh, thanks, Lardo, for talking to me about this. You, uh, you were really helpful."

"No worries, Dex," Lardo said, standing up. "Although, please, can you try to get together by the end of the year."

"Why?" Dex asked, feeling his ears heat up.

"I'd like to win the Haus 'NurseyDex' betting pool," she said, with a wink. "And if you wait until early next year, then Jack Laurent fucking Zimmermann is going to win, and we will never hear the fucking end of it."

Dex shook his head at her before sliding through the window into the Haus. There was a betting pool about him and Nursey? This team was goddamn unbelievable.

**Author's Note:**

> [Inspired by this story I found through tumblr](http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/straight-guy-worries-hes-homophobic-gay-roommate-ends-falling-love/#gs.N_t4uCE)
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> I originally had a second chapter, but I decided this worked better as a one shot so I deleted it... You'll need to decide for yourself how you want this one to end!


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